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Friday, October 24, 2003

ENOUGH ALREADY
No more monitor, no more taking advice on what positions and when the best time to have sex are. I am taking charge of our fertility!

SUCCESS
3 months later - the fall of 2002 - K was pregnant again. This one went much easier than the first. Much less nausea, no morning sickness. Possibly a good sign for a boy (if you believe in wives tales). We were not going to tell anyone until the second trimester, but that theory went out the window just as soon as K got together with the other mommies in the playgroup. Everyone was overjoyed for us - we were the last ones in the playgroup to have our second child.

Finally it was time for our 10-12 week checkup - time to hear the heartbeat. Several years back, we were unable to hear our daughters heartbeat during this checkup, and we had to wait a few more weeks for the sonogram to finally see her. I still have the sonogram picture on my wall. Child #2 played the same game. We would have to wait again.

So off to the other doctors office a week or so later to get the pictures. We wait, we get hooked up, and I see the pictures on the screen - just what I am expecting. They take the measurements on the screen and tell me we are at about 8 weeks. Now I am an engineer - I know math - especially basic math. I know that the number should be somewhere around 11 or 12.

The technician tells us "I don't think this is a viable pregnancy".

FUCK


Thursday, October 23, 2003

CLOMID
Around the time we purchased the oracle, my wife also started taking Clomid. This seems to be the first step people take when they are having difficulty conceiving. I am not sure just what Clomid does, but it seemed to stimulate K's ovaries. This would be a good thing. Like all good medicines - there were side effects. I think she had a few headaches while taking Clomid for 10 days at the start of the cycle, but I saw no increase in moodiness/bitchiness. So I was fine with this.

FERTILITY FRIEND
Here is where the nuttiness starts. Fertility Friend is a website where women who are having difficulty conceiving congregate. Now infertility is a difficult thing to deal with, and I saw and lived K's disappointments each month when her hopes and dreams did not come true, and I think this site gave her much comfort in that others were going through exactly what we were. But eventually she started going to the website to read posts and advice on how to get pregnant.

Now this might be like taking diet advice from overweight people.

These are people who can't get pregnant telling my wife how to do it. And I think there advice was not all that helpful. Buy this book, buy that monitor, try this position, have sex 3 times on the day you start to ovulate. It seemed like every month the anxiety and desperation grew worse. My patience with this borderline insanity was wearing thin.

THE FINAL MONTH
By now the oracle which guided our lives was no longer functioning properly. Maybe is was thrown against the wall out of frustration one time too many. Maybe it was not being used properly - which as already discussed would have been my fault. So this particular month - the oracle shows no egg dropping, my services were not requested. Now think about this. How the fuck are we going to get pregnant if we are not having sex? Abstinence is a prevention tool.

So one morning she figures out that she is not using the oracle correctly, and we have missed the window. No Shit! And this is somehow MY fault. I hate that fucking fertility monitor.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

FERTILITY MONITOR
In the year 2000, we started trying to conceive our second child.

After about a year of trying unsuccessfully to conceive, K decided to purchase a fertility monitor www.clearplan.com. We trotted off to the local Wallmart and bought this thing for about $150 + a 2 month supply of sticks for her to pee on. I suspected at the time that K might be getting too worked up about our failure to knock her up, but I just kept my mouth shut and nodded agreement at appropriate intervals.

But K does not like to read or follow directions, so I was assigned the task of reading the manual and then explaining the operation of the oracle to her. This way - any improper operation would ultimately be my fault. But right off the bat, she did not like the instructions and decided that doing things her way would be better.

Our lives were directed by the oracle. If an egg was appearing in the window - we were having sex that night. No egg - don't bother. I kept my philosophical differences with the oracle to myself.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Last night I got a surprise - a good surprise - but a surprise none the less. My wife told me that she is pregnant again. The anticipated due date is likely to be in the neighborhood of June 14, 2004. I am fucking speechless.

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